At first I was thrilled
a child of my very own
Then with fear I was chilled
for your father was not mine alone.
For months you were shrouded in secret.
For your own good, I told myself,
I would keep your paternity secret.
For my sanity, he would honour our union himself.
We would talk you and I
I would tell you my dreams for you
When I was alone you would comfort me as I cry
In joy I planned and prayed for my dream come true
Then finally the day came when I would see
the child born of my womb
It was so hard to believe together we would finally be
What I didn’t expect was to have to buy your tomb.
Your face was perfection
Your smile an eternal image in my mind
Your eyes closed in eternal sleep my final impression
of a child I only held after death.
I’ve come to say good bye
I’m saddened that I never got to say hello
You’re all I imagined you would be
You were born with the life you kicked within me no more.
Maybe if I had rested more,
Maybe if I had told the world
Maybe if I hadn’t sinned before
Maybe if I had been more bold
I wonder if you knew
just how much my child, I loved
I loved you