Stillborn

At first I was thrilled

a child of my very own

Then with fear I was chilled

for your father was not mine alone.

 

For months you were shrouded in secret.

For your own good, I told myself,

I would keep your paternity secret.

For my sanity, he would honour our union himself.

 

We would talk you and I

I would tell you my dreams for you

When I was alone you would comfort me as I cry

In joy I planned and prayed for my dream come true

 

Then finally the day came when I would see

the child born of my womb

It was so hard to believe together we would finally be

What I didn’t expect was to have to buy your tomb.

 

Your face was perfection

Your smile an eternal image in my mind

Your eyes closed in eternal sleep my final impression

of a child I only held after death.

 

I’ve come to say good bye

I’m saddened that I never got to say hello

You’re all I imagined you would be

You were born with the life you kicked within me no more.

 

Maybe if I had rested more,

Maybe if I had told the world

Maybe if I hadn’t sinned before

Maybe if I had been more bold

 

I wonder if you knew

just how much my child, I loved

I loved you

23/06/2014

Advertisements