Search

Moods Of P

A walk through my words

Category

Intro

Switch

Somehow in the torrent of the words that his presence evoked she found the words that unlocked the man he’d always wanted to be.
As he gingerly stepped out and away from the shackles that had had him bound year after year her next words coaxed the precious first steps to freedom.
Her heart sang to see him unbound. With a smile she hid her fears.
Gently she walked with him until he was able to run.
In, out, around she coached him. Suddenly he realized he was flying and she was right with him.
To dizzying heights he ascended til at last somewhere up high he looked back for her.
A speck in the distance he called to her.
Her weak response was laced with pain.
His mind went back to their early days and he recalled she’d always had broken wings.
Swooping down with alarming speed he raced towards the ground.
There he found her in a free fall just before the rocky ground.
He swooped under her and carried her away.
On a nest of firm branches covered in cotton and heather he laid her gently down.
Her breathing ragged and distressed he tended her in his nest.
Daily he flew far and wide in search of the thing that could cure his bride.
Daily he tended each broken bone amazed that he had never known or guessed the extent of her damage.
At last it was her turn to heal, & he had had the honouring of furnishing every meal and providing her shelter.
His call lured her into the skies and each time her wings failed her he broke her fall until they were flying high.
If you look carefully into the skies you will see them to this day flying high.
Both had been left for dead by the ones who had come before now they fly high forever more.
Seek the one who would and could switch from invalid to healer or allow you to heal them in their darkest hour.
Be the fertile ground upon which the most delicate of seeds will flower into the strong and mighty tree rooted firmly in you providing you shade and protection from the storms.
That’s what she told me before breathing her final breath in the shade of a mighty oak.
And so my dear friends I leave you the tale of the lovers that could switch.
28.03.2016

pcb

If…1

If I died today would you feel it?
Would you know that the being who drives this body will never do so again?
If I died today would you see it? 
Would you see that the mark that this being left is now dusky and gray?
Would you realize that I have gone away?
If I died today would you miss me?
Would you know that I am but am no longer what you grew content to see?
If I died today…the shock would fade and life would continue just as any other day.

Creation

They appeared to us in a world created by our minds.
She was the embodiment of life, vibrant, volatile.
He was the silent one, like a shadow, always there.
They are our creations.

Their characters are perfectly formed.
Father’s and mother’s influence barely discernible.
They are kept alive by the love of two minds.
He barely exists as the love between us fades.

She is her father’s heart.
As his heart beats, her liveliness colours our world.
As my fear grows, our boy disappears.
Years in the making, moments to destroy.

I am…1

I am the proverbial black pussy cat.

Black Cat: Image Courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

I can devour you and leave you feeling whole.

Men seek to conquer me and yet when they succeed I still manage to be me.

My heart is open to break but he who breaks it never gets it back whole.

You can make me purr if you touch me right…it’s no secret.

 

Do me wrong & I can smile a smile of no depth and you will be so far from me that you will feel as if I have opened my bosom and let you in.

I am so far from what you’d like to be and yet I’m all you need.

Yes, I’m the proverbial black pussy cat.

I look like I’ll do you harm but I’m no different from any other cat.

I may seem to be bad luck and yet when I leave and let you go you do so, so, so well.

Mmm, I am the black pussy cat

It’s easy to hate me because you can’t see what I’m really like beyond my dark coat and gloomy exterior.

I am a cat, black pussy cat.

Break Up

“I’m not saying that I don’t love you coz baby I love you so much,” she began. “I just need to grow, find out what life is.” She looked into his eyes and placed a hand over his. “Please try to understand that I just can’t go on the way that we are.” She paused as she saw the unshed tears in his eyes. Her heart twisted as guilt began to creep into her mind like a heavy fog. Her next sentence was caught in her throat. Looking behind him for strength she cut off his sentence. “I know what you are about to say and I can’t. Not anymore. I’ve felt like this over 5 times in the last seven months.” She took a deep breath as her voice threatened to rise and the resentment at his inability to see her pain mounted.  This is why it had to end. She was always bending to accommodate his needs. She was bent beyond recognition and needed to stretch.

“I don’t want to keep hurting. I love you.” She saw him shake his head.  “I do, it would be very relieving and much easier if I didn’t. Every time I try it gets harder.” The tears that he blinked away rolled down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry I had to do it this way but I have to make a clean break. I have to let go.”

The pain in his expression echoed the pain she felt in her heart. It burned deeper and hotter the more she looked at him, she looked away, “I’m sorry to hurt you this way and for being a coward before. I won’t change my mind again. I can’t. Please for the both of us, please, don’t make me change.” She turned to leave.

“Why? Just tell me why after more than a year.” His voice was clear, deepened by a raw emotion she couldn’t name. His face was like the sky just before a storm was about to break, darkening with every passing second. His hand clenched and unclenched. She had the urge to take a step back but held her ground.

Why? She couldn’t think of a single reason as she looked into the tear-filled brown eyes. She forgot the insecurities, the heart ache, and the frustration. Not a single instance could she bring to word.

“For reasons I’ll remember tomorrow.” She barely whispered as her throat threatened to close. She swallowed and yet, it still felt dry and tight.

He laughed bitterly. “Dat’s bullshit and we both know it. Give me something better, something I can believe.”

“Nothing I could ever say would be good enough for you. Besides it would probably be wrong grammatically anyway so why should I bother?” She smiled sadly thinking of the last time he shamed her for stating something wrongly. Her syntax had been wrong and he’d pounded into her verbally for being a verbal slob. “Good bye ba’e. I hope we meet again; resolved, without tension, anger, fear or guilt.”

She walked away promising herself she wouldn’t look back, ever. With every step a new-found freedom seemed to lighten the burden on her shoulders. Each step took her further away from him, towards the unknown.

Now that she had done it she felt so empty, so alone. Who would make her laugh when no one else could? Who would fight the demons that pursued her relentlessly reminding her of past sins?

As the sun broke free from the clouds that she hadn’t realized were there; the answer came. Who else but Him, Ruler of all, Father, Friend?

 

Image credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2188

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑